The Palm Reader - I see you living on a boat.

There is a first chapter of how I first had any notion that I would end up working in the Cruise Industry…and it all started in Piscataway, New Jersey.

My Mother informed me that herself and her two brothers; my Uncles Larry and Russell were going to visit family in New Jersey and asked if I wanted to go along with them. It was April, and we had all been through my Fathers passing. This sounded like a fun thing to do. But I had another idea in mind. I would drive down with them but meet up with my friend Trudy in Piscataway New Jersey and visit with her. That was my plan.

The drive down was nice and I got to spend some time talking with my Uncles. We met with Trudy at a convenient location along the highway and we parted company as my family went on their way to our relative’s home.

Trudy and I had met at a Club Med, where I had gone during a vacation break when I worked on the Trans-Canada Pipeline. We always kept in contact. She had been up to Canada a few times and I had visited her in New Jersey. It was Trudy who introduced me to the excellent restaurants on Mulberry Street in New York’s Little Italy district. She was a fun person to be with.

As this trip followed my birthday in March, Trudy bought me a session with a palm reader as a present. She was into that sort of thing and I had my reservations, but what the heck, I went. The Palm Reader looked like a normal person, as opposed to what I thought she would look like. You know, extravagantly dressed with potions and boiling caldrons and a black cat in the background, the usual. The first question I asked was, ‘what did Trudy tell you about me’? She replied that all she was told was that my name was Bob and I was from Canada.

She then explained that she would take an imprint of my hand and read from the imprint. She took a bright red lipstick and painted my whole hand with it. She then had me press my hand onto a white piece of 8 ½ X 11 paper. I was handed some paper towel and liquid soap to clean my hand. While I was doing this, my hand imprint was being studied.

For an extra $10.00 she would record the whole session and I would get the cassette tape to keep, to listen to at a later date and ponder what my future will be. Ten bucks, go for it, big time spender. The SUCKER light must have been flashing on my forehead. Then again she could predict the future, so she saw me giving her ten bucks. It was a no win situation for me.

…and we begin.

‘You are going through some rough times, but that will soon clear up, around June.’

OK, that was pretty general.

‘You have lost someone very close to you.’

That was pretty general too. I told her my father had lost his battle with cancer last month.

‘How old was your Father?’ “75” I said.

‘You will live longer than that’, I was told.

OK, that’s good to know.

‘I see you living on a boat.’

I had thought of moving to Vancouver and living on a boat at one time.

‘You are going to travel a lot.’

I did travel a lot when I was doing the in car video production work, but that was over. Another generality.

‘I see you going to Europe on a trip.’

Getting interesting.

‘You are going to meet an English woman who is in the Arts.’

Now we are getting interesting. You’ve got my attention.

‘You are going to make a lot of money in the next 10 years.’

Very interesting, also. Lots of money is good. (But did it have to end so quickly.)

‘I see you living in the south of England.’

Now we just went south. Not interesting, unless there are palm trees and it is 80 degrees every day. I had been to England and I didn’t believe that this was their weather pattern.

And with that, the session was over. I got in one last question.

I asked if Trudy will be the one that I spend the rest of my life with. She said ‘No.’

OK!

I got to keep the imprint of my hand and the ten dollar cassette tape. WOO-HOO! That was fun.

Trudy asked me how it went and I said it was very interesting.

The fun part looking at this today is being able to look back at what I was told on that day back in April 1997, compare it with what has happened to me in the last 12 years and where I am today.

I did live on a boat, actually a ship, the S/S Norway, for three years.

In my second month on the Norway we did a 30 Cruise to France, England and Ireland.

I did meet an English woman who was in the Arts, Sarah my wife of today. She came to the Norway from a theatre background.

I did do fairly well for the next 11 years, so the money thing was there.

So the only thing left is living in the South of England. Since then I have visited the South of England. Although I enjoyed myself, I don’t think the weather would work for me, but you never know what the future has in mind for us. It could happen…

Trivia & Facts: Do you know the difference between a boat and a ship? A ship carries boats on board, usually lifeboats. The Norway was unique as it was a ship that carried ships, and carried life boats also. The two tenders that sat on the bow were used to take the guests ashore in shallow ports. The tenders also had life boats on board, although they were small, but the tenders were still considered ships. So the Norway was a ship that carried ships…and lifeboats.

*Names may have been changed to protect the innocent!

Too bad you are not on next week’s cruise…

My first week went by in a flash. The best surprise was waking up the after my first night’s sleep at sea and not having motion sickness. I was not prone to that sort of thing but I didn’t know if the ships movement would affect me. I soon learned that the S/S Norway was the most stable ship on the waters and had the smoothest ride of all ships at sea.

Besides learning all the day to day activities and duties for a Broadcast Technician, I had to learn my way around the ship. The crew is not permitted to use the guest elevators, so staircases where the method of transportation up and down. I used to take the stairs two at a time to get to the upper decks…in those days. There was one crew elevator in the forward area of the ship, which I mentioned earlier and months later I discovered another crew elevator which was at the aft, (back of the ship) but that was smaller than the forward one, if you can imagine that being possible, and always full of room stewards with their bags of sheets, towels and pillow cases.

The guest staircases were also an adventure. There were 6 stair towers in all. There were 16 decks on the ship.

The reason that there was a variety of staircases going to and from different decks was that the original ship, the Transatlantic Liner, S/S France had a class distinction and not all the guests were permitted to go to all the decks. When the ship was converted to a cruise ship and renamed the S/S Norway, the guests were all permitted to travel throughout the ship no matter what cabin class. Interestingly enough, there were stair cases that led nowhere.

Their were two main dining rooms, the Windward Dining Room which was originally the First Class Dining Room on the S/S France located Mid-Ship, in the center on Atlantic Deck. The second was the Leeward Dining Room located aft, also on Atlantic Deck

As I was going past the Windward Dining Room once, I was stopped by a guest, who said,

“Hey Sonny! Why do I have to eat in this dining room when I would rather eat in the other dining room?”

‘This’, meant the Windward Dining Room and ‘the other’ meant the Leeward Dining Room.

Remember protocol, I said to myself.

“Sir, if you wish to eat in the Leeward you can ask your Maître D to see if there is table available for you. He can change your dining room.”

“But,” he replied, “my cabin is here and the other dining room is far so away”.

“In that case, you can check with the Front Desk and see if there is a cabin available closer to the Leeward Dining Room for you.”

“I don’t want to change my cabin”, he hollered at me, “I like the one that I am in!”

Remember protocol…and patience.

“You can always call the Bell Station and they can furnish wheelchair to take you to and from the dining room when needed.”

“I don’t need a wheelchair! I’m not an invalid!”, he hollered back to me.

OK, running out of options, here.

“You know what Sir?” I answered, “Too bad you are not on next week’s cruise. That’s when we are having a moving sidewalk installed on this deck to go between the dining rooms, and that would solve your dilemma. Sorry.”

Time to walk away...quickly. As I left, I realized I might have been a little rude. Rule of thumb was, if you screwed up, own up to it and let the Cruise Director (CD) know what you did, because if the CD found out from another source, let’s say the Hotel Director (HD), it was not going to be a happy day all around.

I went directly to the CDs office, which was my destination prior to my meeting this guest. I said to the CD,

“You might get a report back from a guest about my possibly being rude to him”, and described the exchange I had with the guest. The CD looked back at me and said, “Was it a tall elderly man with a blue polo shirt and tan shorts?”

“Yes it was”, I replied.

“Don’t worry about it”, she said, “The same guy called me over by saying, ‘Hey Missy, go get me some extra towels and pillows.’

I dodged that bullet.

Friday meant the Private Island was our final stop before arriving in Miami. It was a small island that the cruise line leased and created a day at a private beach for the guests, who usually came back to the ship totally sunburned.

Later that evening as I walked through the North Cape Lounge, I saw my hockey team mate Jacques, sitting at a table with his wife. He motioned me to sit with them and have a beer. Have a beer! What a great idea! For the first time since I had arrived on board I realized how quickly the week had flown by and I had not stopped to relax at any time. A beer sounded like the best idea at that moment. I sat back and we traded hockey stories. I relaxed for the first time in a week.

After a great night’s sleep, Saturday came around and I was about to start my second week at sea. I was starting to like this job a lot!

Find something that you love doing and you will never work a day of your life.

*Names may have been changed to protect the innocent!

My First Cruise Staff Meeting. It’s All About Revenue.

After the first initial shock of seeing the BCC, Timmie continued the whirl wind tour of the ship. As we were climbing one of the stair cases we passed a newly boarded couple. I looked at the man as we quickly went by, but then stopped and took a second look and recognized him as one of the players, Jacques from my Tournament Hockey Team. I second guessed at the sighting, but I had to know if it was him or not. He wasn’t a regular on the team and I had only played two or three times with him on the team. So I thought, if I say something in French and he doesn’t respond, then it isn’t him.

I said, “Ques’que un vieux jouer d’hockey com toi fait ici?” What is an old hockey player like you doing here?

The man stopped in his tracks, looked at me and said, “Hey Bobby!” It was handshakes and hugs at this point. What are the chances of my meeting someone, let alone a fellow hockey player, on my first day on the S/S Norway? He asked me what I was doing here and I said that I had just signed on as a crew member working in the TV department. We parted after a few minutes and promised each other that we would get together later in the day.

We walked back out onto the Pool Deck and Timmie took me down to the crew area one deck below. It was the deck that extended out the furthest at the back of the ship. This was the only outdoor area that some crew members were allowed to go to. It led to the crew day room area and around the corner to the Crew Bar. Here, all crew members were allowed and the area that the crew could get a beer or other beverage of their choice.

At this point Timmie said we had to get ready for sail away party. As this was my first day on the ship and I didn’t have a uniform, I could walk around freely to explore the ship on my own. He said I would hear the announcement over the P/A system as to when the party would start and I should make my way out to the pool area at that time. Off he went to do whatever it was he had to do.

I found my way back to my cabin and started to unpack my luggage and put things away. When I was done with that I went to discover the other areas around the ship. I took a staircase that led me to the top viewing deck and walked around absorbing the Miami skyline. I started to climb downwards to each deck and walked the length of each. I found the gym area and walked through. The first thing that came to my senses was that it had a musty odor, a topic that would be the basis of continuing conversations at meetings I was to attend on board.

Outside from the gym was the combined basketball and volleyball court which had a netting all around, to keep the balls from bouncing overboard or onto the buffet area below. An outdoor staircase took me down to the buffet area below known as the Great Outdoor Restaurant. The newly boarded guests carried food trays in the outdoor buffet line and were piling food onto multiple plates. It was amazing to see how much food they had on their trays which led me to ask myself, when was the last time these people ate and who is capable of eating that much food? I took a circular outdoor staircase down to the Pool Deck. Here guests were either walking around with drinks in their hands or sitting in the lounge chairs which lined the pool taking in the sun shine and unknowing to themselves, working on what would eventually lead to a sun burn. Can you spell PINK & PAIN!!

After the mandatory boat drill, the announcement came over the P/A system for everyone to meet at the Pool Deck for the Sail Away Party. The guests started to arrive, some in shorts and t-shirts, others in bathing suits some still in their travel cloths as their luggage had not arrived to the staterooms yet. A Reggae band struck up some Caribbean music which had guests dancing no matter where they were standing. The Cruise Staff started to arrive and were mingling amongst the guests starting up conversations. I spotted Timmie walking around the deck with a huge VHS camera mounted on his shoulder recording the event. The Cruise Director (CD) arrived and with a microphone in hand introduced himself. The Cruise Staff team lined themselves behind him. There were Youth Coordinators in face paint, Divers in orange tank tops, the Shore Excursion team in slacks and shirts, the Ballroom Dance Couple who did a little spin and twirl, the Port & Cruise Consultant who looked very uncomfortable in a suit and tie and the rest of the Cruise Staff who bounced around the area. Timmie was introduced as he was filming the event. There were lots of cheers and waves from those introduced and clapping from the guests. The CD then turned the festivities over to the Reggae band which was the cue for the Cruise Staff to go out into the crowd and pull the guests onto the dance area to get everyone involved and dancing.

After 15 minutes of this Timmie came over to me and said, “OK we now have to go to the Cruise Staff meeting” and led me away back to the BCC to drop off the camera and then up to the Kid’s Playroom Troll Land, where the meeting was to take place. I followed Timmie into the room and found a place to sit along the windows which looked out onto the International Deck. The crew members arrived in twos and threes, many of whom had been at the pool deck party earlier. They all jostled for a seating place among the bean bags, window ledges and floor. A beach ball started to make its way around the room being bounced from one person to another.

The CD arrived along with his assistant. The CD was a male in his early 30s, and his assistant was striking blonde in her early 20s. The CD informed all in the room of what he had received earlier from the head office and management on board. He then went around the room clockwise to hear from each person, of any information they would have to share. When it got to Timmie, he introduced me and I received Hi’s & Welcome Aboard’s from everyone in the room.

When everyone had said their piece, the CD then said, “This week’s task is, you must come up with 5 ways to increase revenue by the next meeting.” He said that revenue had to increase and it was up to us to figure out how to do that.

Now that was interesting. I thought we were here to make the guests experience, the best they ever had. No it wasn’t. It was to make as much money as we could from the guests on board during their seven day cruise. Here I am, my first day on board this ship, in my first staff meeting and I now have learned the key to this cruise line.

It’s all about revenue.

A lot happened to me my first day on board the S/S Norway. Much of which became a fixture in the next 3 years at sea on this cruise ship and in my life. My Home Away From Home.

*Names may have been changed to protect the innocent!

The BCC - I was learning how to get things done on ships.

As I stood on the Broadcast Center (BCC) door way on my first day, I wondered what the heck I had gotten myself into. There was no floor in the room, to speak of. There was only a metal grid framework without any type of covering over it. So you had to walk on the grid work itself or else step into a hole which contained a mass of wires and cables. An accident, waiting for a place to happen.

There wasn’t a ceiling. Again there was a grid framework without ceiling panels and another mass of wires and cables. The lighting consisted of light bulbs on sockets hanging from wires which were connected by wire nuts. In the middle of the room were racks that contained every possible mismatch of video player decks, a music cartridge playing machine circa 1960, a satellite control system and assortment of satellite receivers.

At the end of the rack was another assembly of VCRs and a computer control system…or lack thereof, and an audio cassette deck player below it. This, I was to learn was the crew movie system. It was controlled by a Commodore 16 home computer, which was actually only a keyboard, and a matching 1531 cassette tape recorder.

This system was released in 1984 at an outrageous price of $99.00. Those of you who remember back then, this was the brain child behind one of the first computer games called, “Pong”. I remember playing pong with my 13 year old nephew! That was the system that controlled the crew movie channel.

THE SYSTEM

THAT CONTROLLED

THE CREW MOVIE CHANNEL!!

A Commodore 16!!! State of the art in 1984!!! This was 1997. It consisted of a keyboard and cassette player.

I soon learned this system had a world of its own. If there was any type of power fluctuation, which was often on this ship, the Commodore 16 would shut down and had to be rebooted. How this was done was by loading an audio cassette tape into the 1531 cassette player, pushing play on the deck and then holding your breath while the ‘booting up’ process went to work. This usually took 30 minutes or so.

Behind these racks was the biggest rat’s nest of wires and cables that I had ever seen. It was obvious that this room was not a priority to be kept up to date. Whenever any work had to be done it was based on the bailing twine and duck tape system. Keep it working and don’t worry about it. There were mismatched cables with multiple connecters to make everything join up. Audio cables on video lines and vice versa. There was even a plugged in, gold colored electrical wire that had been taken from a table lamp, powering up one of the VCR decks.

There was a wall shelf that went from ceiling, or lack of, to floor that was full of VHS movies of every kind. A long table where sat a beat up 17” color TV that was used to verify that TV channels were working. The table served also as the working desk where the phone was located. In a corner was another table with two VHS editing decks, one play back deck and one recorder deck, connected to a multi deck control switching system. Funny thing was there was only one playback deck to control. It was only capable of doing straight cuts and had no fade in / fade out or special effects of any kind. BANG the video production on the tape came onto the TV and BANG it would end.

In another corner was a stack of boxes which contained another rat’s nest of loose cables of all kinds. Storage, I gathered. There was a locked room with a wire mesh door which contained the control system for the Public Announcement system for the ship. Oh yes, there were ash trays full of cigarette butts all over the place. The electricians used to use the BCC as a smoke break area. They all had keys to the room and often when I came into the room, there was a cloud of smoke from those who had been in the room.

This place was a mess.

I digress at this point to another story.

Two weeks later at the end of the Captain’s Welcome Aboard Party, the Captain standing next to me said, “TV!” I guess HE didn’t know my name! He knew my job onboard, but he didn’t know my name. Funny thing was, he knew all the girls names.

“Why are we not getting a clear signal for CNN?” All the while he was looking straight ahead and not at me. I looked straight ahead also and said, “Captain”, I knew his name, but had never been permitted to use it, “If I had a Broadcast Room back home, in the condition that this one is in, I would be fired.” He looked down at me, but I kept looking straight ahead. He walked away.

The next morning at 7:30 AM I made my way to the BCC. As I approached the hallway to the entrance, I saw that the door was open. I thought to myself, had I forgotten to lock the door the night before? I walked into the room and there the Captain was, standing on two rails of the floor grid looking at the ceiling and floor. I stood at the doorway and said “Good morning Captain.” Without looking at me he said, “This is unacceptable.” I said, “I agree, Captain. Can you please come this way? I must show you what I consider a fire hazard.” I had learned that if you wanted something done, throw in the word fire. It was the one word that Captains never wanted to hear.

He looked down at me as I passed by him making my way across the grid work, and he followed to the rear of the racks, to the rat’s nest of wires. Along the way his head came into contact with one of the dangling light bulbs. I heard something muttered in Norwegian and pretended not to see or hear what had happened. We got behind the racks. I said, “These cables are all mismatched, stretched to their capacity, crisscrossed and inter-twined. This creates a lot of heat which these cable are not classed to take. And in many cases such as this,” I pointed to one cable that had three connectors, “ this is the reason why you do not get a clear signal for CNN.” Actually wasn't, but I figured it was a good way to get my point across that there was work needed in the BCC. He nodded and walked out of the BCC. Now I’m thinking, what will this lead to?

Within 30 minutes, electricians, carpenters, technicians, painters and the lot sprang into the BCC. By the end of the day I had a complete tiled floor, a full ceiling with multi switch controlled neon lighting and a fresh coat of paint. The wiring behind the racks was all corrected and cleaned up. The equipment in the racks was still crap, but at least we could get to it without killing ourselves.

I was learning how to get things done on ships.

*Names may have been changed to protect the innocent!

The Big Blue Canoe - OK Rio! What the &@%# did you get yourself into this time?

The next morning I took a taxi from my South Beach hotel to the Miami Cruise Ship Terminal. I really didn’t know what to expect but was I enjoying my last taxi ride for the next month if everything went along as scheduled. The position I took with the cruise line was as vacation relief which meant I took over for the vacationing TV Coordinator during his one month vacation. That was the intention. What eventually happened was the S/S Norway became my ship, my home, for the next three years. I never got transferred to any other ship in the fleet. There was one thing about the S/S Norway, you either loved her or you hated her, but you were always loyal to her. I became one of the lovers. And if ever you are at a bar and someone dared disrespected the Norway, be ready to get beat up very badly. I’ve seen it happen, I’ve made it happen and still do to this day. We don’t stand alone in that line, do we Alex? But that’s another story.

We went along Collins Drive to Ocean Drive. My driver wanted me to get a taste of South Beach. From what I saw, I think I was 6 to 8 hours too late as Ocean Drive was pretty deserted. The tour was appreciated but I was anxious to see where I would be working. We turned onto 5th Street and then onto the Macarthur Causeway. Once on the Causeway I got my first view of the S/S Norway. Across the water there she was docked. Very Big and Very Blue. At 1035 ft long she was the longest Cruise Ship of its time. She stood out from the other smaller white cruise ships.

The taxi dropped me off at pier number 1 and I pulled my bags out of the car and up to the Crew Gate. More paperwork was shown and I was allowed through. Once on the pier I got to see up close how really big the Norway really was. I stood there staring at the ship and from behind me I heard, “Make your way to the Crew Gangway and wait there.” I walked up to the Crew Gangway, bags in tow and waited there. Many of the crew was getting off the ship, so I waited for a break in the line. A head poked out from the entrance and yelled out, “Are you Robert?”

“Yes”, I replied. The head turn back into the ship and yelled, “Hey Patrick. Your replacement is here.” Another person stuck out their head and said, “Hey, are you Robert?”

“Yes”, I replied, again. “Great!” he said and disappeared back onto the ship.

There finely was a break from the off loading crew and I dragged my bags up the gangway and took my first step onto the S/S Norway. The security people checked out my paperwork and then instructed me to turn right at the entrance way onto Biscayne Deck and go down to the Pursers Office, “you can’t miss it.” This simple phrase, ‘you can’t miss it’ always made me believe that if there was a chance, you would miss it. I passed a group of crew members who were lined up trying to get off the ship. There were people in all sorts of garb. Some in blue or white boiler suits, some in waiters’ outfits, bar outfits and so on. I also passed the area which I would soon learn, called Slime Alley where the garbage was offloaded from the ship. The deck was really slippery going through there was a stench in the air. Then, there was the sign, Purser’s Office.

Once at the Pursers Office I handed over my paperwork and was given more to fill out. I was then told, ‘turn right out the entrance and go to the Key Steward’s office, on the left side of the deck to get your cabin key. “You can’t miss it.” There it was again!

On my way to the Key Stewards office, I passed an area of this deck which I was soon to learn about, called Biscayne Heights. This was an area that had 14 crew cabins. It would play a very significant part in my ship and shore side life. But that’s another story.

The Key Steward handed me two keys, one for my cabin and the other was for the Broadcast Center, the BCC or TV room, all of which it was called. He told me to go left out the door and make my way to the crew elevator and go up to International Deck and my cabin, “you can’t miss it”……

With my bags, paperwork and keys in hand I found the crew elevator. This was the smallest elevator I had ever been on. It was about 2 ft wide and couldn’t hold more than 4 or 5 people. With me and my luggage, that was reduced to 3 people. Up to International Deck I went. Luckily it didn’t make a stop on the way up.

When the door opened I stepped out, moved my luggage onto the landing and looked left and right. Next to the elevator was the staircase, which was only wide enough for one person. Welcome to the land of the narrow. Do I go left or right? I chose right which was correct. I opened the door leading to the deck and as I did a very tall blonde guy with a white golf shirt and ship logo was coming through. His name tag read, Timmie.

“Hi” I said. “Can you tell me where cabin I -1012 is?”.

“Are you Robert?” was his response. Wow! I’ve been on the ship 30 minutes and everyone knows my name! Is this ‘Cheers, where everyone knows your name?’

“Yes I am”, I said. “Great!” he replied. “I’m Timmie the Lead TV Coordinator. We will be working together. Your cabin is right here.”

I walked onto the deck and my room was right across from the Crew Door. A landmark, remember that, I told myself. Timmie opened my door and there it was. My room for the next 30 days. The door was 24” wide and right in the entrance way was a closet that was also 24” wide. To the left was another door which led to the bathroom. It consisted of a toilet next to my door, a standup shower and across from that a sink. There was another door which led to my neighbor’s door. Timmie informed me that I would be sharing this bathroom with him as he had the cabin next to mine. Next to the bathroom door was a small dresser with 3 drawers. Across from the dresser was a small fridge with a VCR and TV on top. There was a single bed with a 3 level shelf across from it.

It was small and I wondered if my claustrophobia would set in. Timmie then said, “We are lucky to get these cabins. They may be small but at least we don’t have to share a cabin with anyone. Most crew has at least one cabin mate with some either 4 to 6 crew in the same cabin.” OK, claustrophobia will be put on the back burner. Here it was.

Home Sweet Home.

I dropped off my bags in the room, took an 11 X 8 ½ note pad with me and set off with Timmie for a ship’s tour. The whole thing was a blur with me taking notes and recording land marks. “Here is the Pursers desk, this is Checkers Cabaret, then the gift shops. After that it is Club International and then you go out onto The Great Outdoor Restaurant where the buffet is. Above is Olympic Deck and the basketball court. Down below is the pool deck and below that is the crew deck” We took a spiral stairway down one deck to the pool area.” Timmie continued, “When you go through these doors you pass The Bistro restaurant and that leads into North Cape Lounge. This is the Back Bar and the guy behind the bar is Hannibal. Hey Hannibal” Timmie said. I looked over and saw a man whose head was barely above the bar. “TIMMIE!!”, he called out as we passed. “After this you have the Photo area and then into the casino. Outside the casino is the Saga Theatre. Let’s take these stairs down one deck and I’ll show you the Cruise Staff Office.”

Let me make something clear here. Timmie was 6 ft 4 inches tall. I am 5 ft 8 inches. When Timmie takes a stride, I’m taking 2, so it was a sort of an Abbott and Costello scene with me taking notes and landmarks and trying to keep up with Timmie. We went down one deck and turned left and another left and got to a door marked Cruise Staff Office. I looked across from this door and made a note of the cabin number there. Another landmark. No one was in the office so Timmie said “Let’s go to the Broadcast Center on Viking Deck”

We made our way back to the staircase we had come down, but now went back up 2 decks, made two lefts, then a short distance and turned into a small entrance hallway. I looked at the cabin door across this hallway. It was marked ‘The Royal Suite.’ Another landmark. Timmie unlocked the BCC door and walked in. I took one step into the room and stopped in my tracks. I looked around and said to myself,

‘OK Rio! What the &@%# did you get yourself into this time?’

*Names may have been changed to protect the innocent!

Show us your bathing suit!

A 15 minute taxi ride from the airport got me to the Best Western Hotel and I made my way to the check in desk. There were 3 lines with 6 to 7 people per line from assorted parts of the world. As usual I chose the wrong line, the one that took the longest to get to the desk. When I finally got to the desk clerk I was informed that there were no rooms available. I mentioned that I had a reservation. The clerk replied that he understood and they were checking to see if there was a room at other hotels. Could I give them 15 minutes as he handed me a $30.00 voucher and said I could go into the attached restaurant, Flanagan’s, and have something to eat while I waited. As soon as they located accommodations at another hotel, they would come and find me. That was OK with me, and off I went.

Half an hour later the clerk found my table and told me that they had located a room at a hotel on South Beach. When I was finished my lunch, they would have one of their drivers take me there. South Beach, I thought, where the beautiful people are. What were the cliches, Fast boats and even faster women, Miami Vice. Drug lords in go-fast-boats with guns blazing being chased by undercover police in go-faster-boats, who sported 5 o'clock shadows while wearing loafers with no socks, linen jackets with the sleeves pushed up to the elbows over black t-shirts and best of all long legged girls wearing itsy-bitsy-tini-wini yellow pok-a-dot bikinis. Hmm.

As soon as I was done, I found the clerk and I soon was on my way to my new accommodations.

It took about 30 minutes to get to the South Beach Hotel, and once there I realized I got the better end of the deal. I said a quick ‘Thank You’ under my breath, to all the people in line in front of me at the check in desk.

The new hotel was one of the top locations on South Beach. Down the road was the hotel that Madonna was a part owner of, I was informed by my driver. My new hotel had a spectacular entrance and beautiful foyer area. I made my way to the front desk, which by the way, did not have a lineup of people from assorted parts of the world. I presented myself and the very attractive young lady behind the desk said they were expecting me. I was given a room but was informed that it would be ready in one hour. She said I could leave my bags in their luggage storage room and wait at the pool bar, if I wished. At which time she handed me a $50.00 bar voucher and indicated where the pool area was. Wow, I thought to myself, I’m starting to like this Miami place. I took my bags to the storage room where an attendant tagged them and said, “I will take them to your room as soon as it is ready.” A three dollar tip later I was away walking in the direction of the outdoor pool bar.

Again as I walked outside I felt a blast of heat and humidity, but also a nice breeze coming from the ocean and could hear some light Salsa music playing in the background. The pool was built length wise, about 15 feet wide by 50 feet long and there were a few people sitting in lounge chairs sipping on drinks. At the end of the pool was the bar and beyond that was the ocean.

I headed towards the bar and about ¾ of the way there, I heard someone running up behind me. As I stepped aside I looked over my shoulder as a rather stunning young lady ran by me with a towel wrapped around her. Closing in on the bar, one of the patrons yelled out, “Show us your bathing suit”. The young lady obliged by doing a pirouette, dropping her towel to one hand and modeled the tiniest bathing suit bottom that I had ever seen. A roar of delight and cheers was heard from the bar. Did I mention that’s all she was wearing, just the bottoms? She finished her turn and continued her run down the walkway towards the beach, to more cheers of the patrons at the bar.

Hmm, I thought to myself, I like this place called Miami.

*Names may have been changed to protect the innocent!

It all started with an advert saying, ‘Do you want to work on a cruise ship?’

In July of 1997 I found myself out of work. Sound familiar? I had been working with a TV production company that produced television programming for auto racing, road rally’s, and Hydroplane boat racing. I specialized in mounting small format video cameras to give the TV viewer the drivers prospective of the competition.

In January 1997 the Canadian government outlawed all television cigarette advertising. The cigarette companies were the main sponsors on all the racing series I was doing other than the road rally’s. That meant that I went from working 35 weekends a year to 10. Not enough to survive. I was married to WW2 at the time but that was coming to an end. To top everything off, my Dad passed away in April from cancer. So my year wasn’t going very well.

I had moved from Montreal to Toronto after my Dad’s funeral, as there were better opportunities for me in Toronto than there were in Montreal at that time. I had come to a point that I had to find a 9 to 5 job as the video work wasn’t there for me.

I saw an advertisement in the Career Opportunities section of the newspaper that read,

‘Do you want to work on a cruise ship? Money back guarantee. Call 1800 Work At Sea, (not the real number).

So I called and the man at the other end of the line said ‘Sent $75.00 to the following address and we will send you all the information you need. If you don’t get a job within 3 months, send back the packet and we will return your money.’ I had done worst things with money in my life so why not give this a shot. I sent the money off and in 2 weeks time I got a package which contained a book outlining what jobs there were, how to set up your resume to suit the cruise lines and addresses of all the cruise lines in existence.

I followed the instructions and sent out 28 resumes to the listed cruise lines. Within weeks, I received about 20 of the resumes back, with the envelopes stating, no such company at this address. What I later learned was that most of the companies listed no longer existed. GREAT! But I did get one post card that said Thanks, but no thanks. We will keep your resume on file.

In the meantime I increased my search for employment. After a two week span I had narrowed down my choices to, an order desk position with a construction supply company, an upstart company that going to get into the TV satellite business and a Lincoln Auto Dealership as a salesman. My decision was going to be made on the Friday of the week coming. I came home on Thursday at 7:00 PM and my friend told me that somebody from a cruise line had called for me. I said back, “OK, I’ll call them back in the morning”. My friend said, “I think you should call them now, they said they would be working late”.

I called the person at the cruise line. The first question he asked me was, “Why do you want to work on a cruise ship.” I thought to myself, DUH! I’m out of work and need a job!! But I said that I love travelling to new places and this sounds like a great opportunity to do so. He told me that they were looking for a TV Coordinator and filled me in on what the duties would be. I said I would have no problems completing the duties all the time thinking, I have no idea what he is talking about. We talked for a while and he said they would call me back sometime the next week. I answered back that I had 3 other opportunities and I was going to make my decision the next day. If they were interested in me, they would have to call me the next day. He said, OK.

The phone rings at 7:30 am the next morning and the call is for me. It was the person from the cruise line saying that I had the job and could I leave on Saturday morning for Miami to join the ship? Now that was quick. I said back that I thought I needed a paperwork filled out as well as a medical done before I leave and also that I needed to clear up some lose ends at home. I said I could be there next Saturday, and he agreed. He said they would send me the necessary paperwork by fax along with my flight instructions and hotel accommodations. I said, OK that was fine for me.

Time to reinvent myself…again.

So off I went closing things down, getting the necessary medical done, and packing the clothes I was told I needed to work at sea. One thing I required was a Tuxedo which I had no idea where to get. But, when in doubt, ask my sisters. That always works. I am not permitted to buy any clothes without one of them or other reputable source along with me as I am...color stupid. I can see colors, but I can’t tell what goes with what and pastels are my greatest challenge.

Not having a lot of money on hand we decided to go to a Tuxedo Rental store and see if we could buy one of their used Tuxes. That worked out and I also picked up two Tuxedo shirts, a black bow tie and cummerbund and a colorful Caribbean colored matching bow tie and cummerbund. I was all set. So with all my matters settled, my bags packed and paperwork in hand I’m off to Miami.

The flight was uneventful as they always are and found myself in Miami getting anxious to see what I had gotten myself into this time. I got through Immigration OK, picked up my luggage and made my way outside to find a taxi. The paperwork said I should take a taxi to the Airport Best Western Hotel on Flagler Street. Seemed easy enough. As I walked out the door with luggage in tow, the first thing that hit me was the heat and humidity. Wow! It was really hot and sticky. I looked left and right to get my bearings as to where the taxi stands were. Just then a taxi pulls up in front of me. A lovely young thing with a very short dress, quite revealing top and spiked heels made her way out the back door. She wobbled a bit, to what I thought might be the shoes, but she then grabbed onto the back fender of the taxi and proceeded to empty the contents of her stomach all over the car.

Hmm, I thought. Welcome to Miami.

Stay tuned.

*Names may have been changed to protect the innocent!

Being Italian is not the blood in your veins, but the spirit in your heart. *Joseph P. Micatrotto, BUCA Inc., Chairman, President and CEO

As I await the proof reading of my adventures, I thought I’d let you know something about me. Two things that I love to do are eating good food and cooking & preparing good food. At one time I must have had 250 cookbooks. Today, Sarah has narrowed me down to about 40. Of the 40 I only look through about 20. How many do I use on a consistent basis? Five.

I love Italian and French cooking. Three of my favorite Italian cookbooks are Lidia’s Italian-American Kitchen and Into the Sauce from the Buca di Beppo restaurants. It was a cookbook that they used to offer for sale at their restaurants but has since been discontinued. Too bad, because it is very, very good. I also use a cookbook from a Time-Life Books series called Foods of the World; The Cooking of Italy. This was a series that came out in 1968. I bought into the series in 1974 which consisted of a hard cover book which described the part of the worlds where the recipes came from and a 6" X 9” coil bound book that held the recipes themselves. You can tell that this book is well used from the stains and marks on my favorite selections such as Salsa Pizzaiola, Salsa di Pomodori, Pesto alla Genovese, Scaloppine al Marsala, Polpette alla Caslinga, Osso Buca and more. The page with the Zabaione is especially ‘autographed’.

I was making the Zabaione for my then second wife, WW2 and her kids Dean & Kelly. I was at the ‘beat the mixture with a rotary beater until it is a pale yellow and fluffy’ stage. As I pulled the mixer from the bowl, I flicked the speed control with my thumb to what I thought was the off position. But, instead of turning the mixer off, I actually changed the speed to high. That move resulted in the mixture on the beaters flying in all directions as I came out of the bowl. It was now all over me, the stove and every wall within range, including my cookbook. That’s when my stepdaughter Kelly stepped into the kitchen saying, What’s up Bobby?” She then froze in her tracks. I looked up from my mess and our eyes locked. Kelly spun around, ran down the hallway and called out to her mother, “Mom, I think we have to go out shopping, RIGHT NOW!”

What I like about these cook books is that they have original recipes as they were created in the ‘Old Country’ by the grandmothers & grandfathers, before they came to America.

For French Cooking I have is a must for every aspiring French Chef. Mastering The Art of French Cooking, by Julia Child, volumes one and two. I also enjoy using Julia and Jacques Cooking at Home by Julia Child and Jacques Pepin. The later again is basic and simple cooking that is flavorful and very tasty.

My next favorite cookbook is, Cooking 101 The Definitive Interactive Cooking Program by Chef Jean Pierre of,

Chef Jean-Pierre Cooking School, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

The unique quality of this “Cookbook Program” is that it contains 5 DVDs where Chef Jean Pierre goes through the fundamentals of being in the kitchen from Kitchen Utensils, Tools & Techniques to Stocks and Sauces and covers the 5 Mother Sauces. The book and videos are a great combination to use and for me, as I learn better by seeing how things blend and come together rather than just reading about it. The biggest thing that I learned is to layer the ingredients as you go along so that all the flavors come together.

I took Chef Jean Pierre’s Cooking 201 classes and thoroughly enjoyed myself. There are cooking lessons Monday to Fridays with certain Saturdays dedicated to Couples Only, covering French, Italian dinners and more. I check his schedule on line to see what’s new & coming up that interests me. It is dinner with a show, as Chef Jean Pierre is quite the artist behind the stove and has an incredible stage presence, so you are entertained all the time you are watching him. When the meal is completed, you get to taste the results, hoping that you can replicate the same at home. Once a month on Friday nights, there is a wine tasting evening with Eric Hemer a MASTER SOMMELIER. There are only 100 Master Sommeliers worldwide. Chef Jean Pierre sets his menu according to the wines that Eric will be demonstrating that night. It is a great event which I take Sarah to, as she thoroughly enjoys herself. He also has local celebrity chefs teaching their specialties or nights that are dedicated to well known people.

I am desperately trying to get into his TRIBUTE TO JULIA CHILD, but the next opening isn’t until Jan. 15/2010!!

Everything Has To Have A Begining

Everything has to have a beginning. A starting point. So this is my new starting point. I have had to re-invent myself so many times that I now have to ask the questions; who am I, where am I, how did I get here and where will I be going next. Not having had a job or paycheck in over a year makes me wonder, will I ever have a steady, paying job again? Is seems to me that whenever I have had to re-invent myself, it was at the worst possible moment. But then again, is there ever a good time? So here we go again at...61.

By my own sense of adventure I always thought about writing stories of my life and events that took place. My life has never been dull and many things have happened. I tend to relate a lot of these stories at different times, to people who I happen to be with at the time. Once after telling one of my adventuristic exploits, my friend Frank approached me and said,

"You know, I was there when that happened, but it didn't seem to stand out in my life as much as it has in yours or was as funny as you relate it. But now that I hear you tell this story, it was pretty exciting and very funny".

I guess I look at situations in a different way than other people do. But for me to do that I have to be in the right frame of mind, relaxed and not stressed about what ever catastrophe I am going through at that time.

Last July I was in one of those stressed out states. As I mentioned before, I did not have a job and was facing challenges in finding one. Thank God, (and I say that not being a very religious person) for my wife Sarah. WW3 as I sarcastically call her, being as this is my third time married. Her response is, third time lucky, and she is right. She is my pillar of strength, my sounding block, my best supporter and my best friend, who ALWAYS looks at the the bright side of life.

What will follow is one of my adventures which I under took in August 2009. I took a trip to Canada to visit my family, look for employment, but most of all, to ride my motorcycle through the Quebec Laurentians where I had spent my summer vacations and in the winter snow skiing during my pre and early teens. Later in life I moved there for 2 years travelling back to work in Montreal every day. My Father also had a few homes up there and the region played a big part in my life.

As I started to write of my adventure, other stories popped up in my head, so you will have to allow my going off on tangents every once in a while. There are many stories to be told, and who knows, maybe this is the book in me that we are told we all have. As I go along I am feeling that there could be more than one book. We'll have to see.