The first meeting. ‘Not in your lifetime, mister!’

At the end of every cruise, the staff on board would take part in a production “Home Away From Home”. We affectionately called it “The Norwegian Sway”. The Cruise Staff (CS), of which I was a member, would be the first to come onto the stage as two performers from the Theatre Company would sing “Home Away From Home”. The male CS entered from stage right and the female CS entered from stage left. We would cross each other, and by the time I reached stage left, we were strung out boy girl, boy girl, and boy girl. As the song progressed, more crew members from other departments filed onto the stage until every department was represented. The last group onto the stage would be the Officers and the Captain. The chefs & cooks would be the last to enter the Theatre and stood in front of the stage, below the officers. They always drew the loudest cheer from the guests.

We always joked that the guests boarded the ship through the gangway, and after one week of non stop eating, they now were off loaded as cargo, thanks to the chefs & cooks. This justified the standing ovation from the guests.

Saga Theatre, S/S Norway

To start off the procession we entered Saga Theatre from the side entrance back stage. I was the first male CS who would walk out onto the stage so I had to take my place at the bottom of the stairs. As I waited for my cue, I was always met there by Debbie, the Wardrobe Supervisor. On this one night as I approached the stairs I saw Debbie with a little red headed girl. (Think Charlie Brown).

As I reached Debbie’s side, she said to me, “Bob I would like to introduce you to Sarah Brown. She will be my replacement as I have been transferred to another ship.”

I looked at Sarah and said, “Hi Sarah, welcome aboard.” Sarah said “Hi” and we shook hands.

I said to Debbie, “Have you told Sarah about our tradition?” This drew a quizzical look from Sarah.

Debbie said, “Oh yes. Sarah, before Bob goes on stage I give him a hug and kiss on the cheek.”

I looked at Sarah as she smiled and looked back at me, and I gathered from her expression, ‘Not in your lifetime, mister!’ would be the response. That was the last time Sarah ever came to this production.

Backstage of the Saga Theatre where I first met Sarah, S/S Norway

One day, after I had made my lunch selection for the delectable choices in the Staff Mess, I looked around the seating area for a place to sit. As I scanned the room I spotted Sarah sitting on her own at one of the long tables. I walked to the seat across from her and asked if it was OK to sit down. She said yes and I took the spot. We both ate our lunches with neither of us saying a word to the other. Sarah ate in a slow meticulous manner, and I ate much quicker which meant I was done first.

I stood up from my seat, taking my dishes with me and said to Sarah, “Have a nice day.”

Sarah looked up at me and said, “You too”, and that was the extent of our second conversation.

Biscayne Deck was the main thoroughfare for the crew. Aft, on the Starboard side of this deck is where the crew embarked and disembarked, midship is where the Crew Purser’s Office was located, and the Crew Shop was all the way forward. On the Port side was the area where the guests embarked and disembarked the Tender Boats when the ship came into port. The starboard side of Biscayne deck had crew cabins and the port side had guest staterooms. In the center part of the ship was where the garbage was off loaded, an area affectionately named Slime Alley, as the floors were always very slippery.

There was a unique group of cabins past the Crew Purser’s Office which was called Biscayne Heights. This is the area where the divers, some theatre staff and a few Cruise Staff lived. It was isolated enough that it was a great party area which would not disturb the guests. The divers were known for their Bushwhacker Parties.

My nightly routine was to go to Dazzles Disco (located three decks above Biscayne), for a beer before heading to bed. From Dazzles I would walk forward to the Broadcast Room for the final equipment check of the night and then go up two more decks to International Deck forward where my cabin was located. I was one of the lucky few that had a cabin in the guest areas and not in the crew area. As I came out of Dazzles I decided to go a different route; down the crew stairs to Biscayne Deck and then back up to my cabin. To this day I have no idea why I did this eight deck detour.

As I walked along Biscayne Deck I could hear music in the distance. I wondered to myself, what was going on, and then it hit me. Earlier in the week the divers had announced that they were having a Bushwhacker Party. I opened the door which led to Biscayne Heights and made my way in. The area held 9 crew cabins (at two crew per cabin) and every door was open to the party. The music was now very loud coming from a very expensive BOSE system which was owned by one of the divers, Kelvin.

Kelvin, Me & Diver Bobby

Kelvin had stood up for me at a Cruise Staff meeting during my first contract. I had originally been hired as vacation fill-in for a four week period relieving the previous Broadcast Tech. During a meeting after I had been on board for three weeks, Cruise Director Denny mentioned that the upcoming week would be my last on the Norway and the vacationing Broadcast Tech Phillip was returning at the end of the present cruise. That’s where Kelvin spoke up.

“Hey Denny, why does Phillip have to come back here? We are better off with Robert. He’s done more for TV in three weeks than the other guy has in four months. Send Phillip to the Leeward, (my supposed next assignment), and keep Robert here. The other guy’s a wanker.”

“You are right, Kelvin. I’ll see what I can do” answered Denny.

I was totally surprised with what Kelvin said, but it worked, as during the next cruise I was informed by Denny that I would be staying on the Norway and Phillip was going to the Leeward. An interesting thing, in my three years on ships I was never transferred to another ship.

As I walked into Biscayne Heights, Kelvin spotted me and yelled out, “Hey Bob! Welcome to the party. Let’s get you a Bushwhacker, mate!!” He led me into his cabin which had been converted into The Bar and was full of beer, liquor bottles and mix. He staggered over to a blender, picked up the empty container, angrily walked past me, into the passageway and yelled out,” OYE! Which one of you f***ing bastards took the last f***ing Bushwhacker and didn’t f***ing make more!” No one paid any attention to him. He walked back into the cabin mumbling, “I don’t believe that some bastard took the last f***ing Bushwhacker and didn’t f***ing make more!” as he commenced to make another batch. He added ice, 3 liquors, broken up Oreo cookies all mixed, blended into a concoction and then poured me a hefty glass. “Here you are, Mate. Welcome to my party. Ha – Ha – Ha – Ha – Ha!” I took a sip out of the glass, which made me open my eyes and raise my eyebrows. “Good f***ing one, eh Mate! I make the best Bushwhackers in the WORLD!” Kelvin said, laughing as he passed me by and went out to join his girlfriend and others in the passageway.

I followed him out into the passageway taking in the festivities with who was in the area. There was a mixture of crew from the different departments, divers of course, entertainers, dancers, cruise staff and stage techs all talking, laughing and having a great time. I walked over to some people that I knew and joined them in their conversation. I looked over the shoulder of the person in front and saw Sarah in a doorway talking with a guy. I thought to myself, ‘well that must be her boyfriend’, and went back to my groups' conversation. Some time and a couple of Bushwhackers later I noticed Sarah still in the same doorway, but now talking to another guy. ‘Oh, THAT must be her boyfriend’, I thought this time.

The party rolled on and a great time was being had by all. Coming out from the bar where I had acquired another Bushwhacker I noticed Sarah still in the same doorway, but now she was on her own. 'OK Bob, here’s your chance', I said to myself. I made my way through the crowd, got up to Sarah and said “Hi”. She said ‘Hello’ back and to this day I do not remember any part of our conversation, but it was far beyond our first and second encounters. At some point Sarah said, “Would you excuse me? I have to go to the bathroom.” “Sure” I said and off she went. What I didn’t know was that Sarah’s cabin was in this area. What I did know was that I had heard this statement before and the person had not returned.

‘Oh well’, I thought to myself. ‘I gave it a shot.’ and made my way back to the bar in search of another Bushwhacker. When I came out, there was Sarah back in the same doorway, by herself. I walked over and said surprisingly, “You came back!”

“Of course I did, why would you think not?” Sarah said. Now, one thing you have to understand. People from the UK can say something very simple, but make you feel two inches tall. This was an example and to tell you the truth, after 10 years I STILL have not gotten used to it.

“You are absolutely right, I apologize for being an idiot” I said, not letting on that I had been dumped in the past by a girl who had said she was going to the bathroom and never came back.

We talked late into the night and we haven’t stopped talking to each other since that day, Dec 10^th 1999.

And it’s all thanks to our good friend Kelvin, and his Bushwhacker party.

*Names may have been changed to protect the innocent!*