bobs blog: My Tux fits great. "Miss Sarah did a SMASHING job!"

I soon learned that there were many advantages to dating the Wardrobe Supervisor of the theatre company onboard. First of all, my laundry was done expertly on the private machines which were delegated to Sarah. When you sent your laundry to the ship’s crew service there were always surprises.

1. Did it come back on time?

2. Did you get YOUR laundry back?

3. Did you get someone else’s laundry?

4. Did someone else get your laundry?

5. Did your article of clothing still fit?

6. Did it shrink to Ken & Barbie size?

7. Was it the same color as when it was sent out?

8. Did some new stain miraculously appear on your clothing?

9. And too many more to list.

Now all my clothing was washed, ironed, folded and on hangers, returned to me in my cabin.

The biggest surprise was the next Formal Night when I put on my Tux. I had not bought a very expensive Tux. As a matter of fact I had bought a used Tux from a rental company, so you can well imagine that the tailoring left a lot to be desired.

Formal Night is upon us and I put on my Tux. First thing I notice is that the waist was no longer too big. When I put on my shirt, the buttons were all sewed on the front and there was Velcro as a fastener in place instead. The collar button also had expandable elastic in it so that it was not choking me.

The best was the jacket. When I buttoned the front, the jacket was no longer two sizes too big, contoured my waist line and the sleeves were at the correct length. They no longer hung to the middle knuckles on my hands. AND, Sarah had made me a Real Tuxedo Bow Tie. I no longer needed the clip on type.

WOW THIS WAS VERY COOOOOOOOL!!!!

Off I went to the Captain’s Cocktail Party feeling as fit as a Peacock. I never thought that I looked that much of a mess previously in my Tux, but this was the first time in 3 years that the thing actually fit me properly. And it did not go unnoticed.

Club International, S/S Norway

My location for the Captain’s Party was at the doorway leading into Club International, at the front of the line of guests. I would welcome the guests to the party, ask them where they were from and position them with the lady on the right and the gentleman on the left. I would then hand them off to the Cruise Director (CD) introducing them by name and where they were from. From there the CD would walk them into Club International and introduce them to the Captain and they were set up for their picture.

The reason that I would ask them where they were from was if they were Scandinavian, then the CD, if it so applied or the Captain could speak to them in their native language. This also worked well if the CD or Captain knew of their home state, again it was a source of conversation.

Not all the CDs liked this, but it worked well with those who did such as the CD at that time, Denny. The others who didn’t I put it off to their being insecure with themselves and wanting all the glory. Believe it or not, there were some of those. It was all about the attention that they needed.

On this evening as I entered Club International, fifteen minutes prior to the start of the Party, CD Denny and the Captain looked at me as I came in.

Captain said, “Look at you Robert. Did you buy a new Tuxedo and where did you get that Bow Tie? Is it from Harrods?”

“Not a new Tux. But it has been altered by my girlfriend and she also made this real Bow Tie for me.” I said.

“I wish I could find someone to tailor my jacket. Look at how long the sleeves are!” said the Captain in disgust, showing that they were to his finger tips.

“Can’t the tailors on board do something with your sleeves?” I asked.

“It takes a specialty tailor to know how to shorten these sleeves while keeping the stripes at the right height and spacing.” was the Captains response. “Those people down below are not qualified for that.”

“Well, I’m sure if you asked Miss Sarah she could do it for you. Her background is in English Theatre.” I stated.

“English Theatre you say? Can she get me a Bow Tie from Harrods? Who is this Miss Sarah and how come I have not met her?” asked the Captain.

“She is the Wardrobe Supervisor with the Theatre Company. I will introduce her to you on the next occasion when you are available” I answered.

“I will be coming through Dazzles later this evening, at about 10:00 PM, be there so that we can meet.” said the Captain.

Dazzles Disco, S/S Norway

At the end of the evening when all the shows and parties were over Sarah and I went to Dazzles to have a drink and wait for the Captain. Sarah was not thrilled about all this attention as she liked to be unnoticed and in the background. I assured her that meeting the Captain will be fun and all would be OK.

The Captain came into Dazzles 30 minutes later accompanied by his guests from the Captain’s Table. The Captain’s Table consisted of the top VIPs and whatever celebrities may be on the cruise. The Captain always selected those who he wanted to join him and those he did not.

This time he had 2 couples with him as well as a female escort. The waiters hurriedly made up a table for them. The Captain sat down and ordered Champagne for his group. He always drew a lot of attention, so I waited until the crowd around him dwindled. I caught his glance and he waved for me to come over to his table. I did and asked if I could introduce him to Sarah. He got up from the table and walked over to where Sarah and I were.

He looked at Sarah and said, “So you are Miss Sarah? I understand you can fix the sleeves of my coat?”

Sarah lifted up his sleeve and did her thing. She looked up to the Captain smiling and said, “Yes I can.” Short and sweet.

The Captain looked at her and said, “Good. Be on the Bridge at 0800 tomorrow.” He nodded and returned to his table.

Now, here is the problem. The people in the Theatre Company were not early risers. Most of them never got up until the crack of noon. This was because their shows ran into the late night and there really wasn’t any reason for them to be early risers anyway.

Sarah looked at me and I said, “Don’t worry. You can come up to the Bridge with me in the morning. I go up there every morning because they make the best coffee on the ship.” I don’t think I sold her on the early rise thing.

Seconds after the Captain left us there were two glasses of Champagne in front of us. The waiter said, “Compliments of the Captain.” Sarah and I looked over to the Captain and he raised his glass in a toast, as we did in return. That put a smile on Sarah’s face. It also had many people looking over at us wondering who we were and why was the Captain sending us Champagne?

The next morning Sarah came up to the Bridge with me and as soon as we entered the Captain got out of his chair and said, “Miss Sarah. So good to see you this early in the morning. Ha - Ha - Ha - Ha – Ha - Ha - Ha. Follow me to my quarters.” And off they went.

That evening I saw the Captain doing his rounds of the entertainment areas and there seemed to be a step in his walk. I said Hello to him as he walked by. He stopped and proudly said, “Hello Robert. Look at my jacket and how well it now fits. The sleeves and stripes are now perfect. Miss Sarah did a SMASHING job!”

“Looking good Captain!’ I said.

“I certainly am, am I not? Ha - Ha - Ha - Ha – Ha - Ha - Ha” he said with a big smile on his face as he turned and continued on his way.

I asked Sarah if she could ask one of her friends in London to get a Bow Tie from Harrods for the Captain which she did.

At the next Captain’s Party, when the Captain was on stage and had finished his speech, we presented him with his Bow Tie from Harrods. He was over the moon and said excitedly, “There is only one person who would have done this for me and that is Miss Sarah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This is a SMASHING gift. Ha - Ha - Ha - Ha – Ha - Ha – Ha. I love it!!”

Word quickly got around the ship of Sarah’s prowess with needle and thread, especially with the Senior Officers. Soon all were coming her way to have their alterations and mending done. It became a lucrative business for her.

The Hotel Director was one of the first to call upon Sarah’s services. He was a fashion fiend and one of his Versace shirts returned from the laundry with a tear in it. He was fit to be tied. Sarah mended the shirt for him to the point that he could not tell where the tear had been. He was ecstatic.

Denny, the Cruise Director was also a customer. For some reason or other, the crotch of his pants kept blowing apart.

The following cruise and for every cruise thereafter, whenever Sarah and I had dinner at Le Bistro, and when either the Captain or the Hotel Director saw us, they would come over to our table and say Hello. This always drew stares from the other patrons. On their way out they spoke with the Maitre D’, and would cover our dinner.

That’s the way things were done on ships. We took care of our own.

*Names may have been changed to protect the innocent!